Karma
by StarWarrior72
Summary: Because Vader gave Evil a physical form, capable of thought beyond evil, Zil's personality gained sentience he could not wish away. When he wished away the copy of Luke's body, Zil was transferred to a recently killed young boy. Now Zil is on a path trying to finish what he started.
1. Chapter 1

I watched, grinning, as Vader and the idiot boy Skywalker floated higher above my head. This was more like it! At last, an opportunity to have some fun. I'd been looking forward to seeing the inside of their skulls. I bet Vader thought he was being so smart, making me call him father. And he thought he was so much stronger than me, having pulled himself out of my grip.

Well, burning them wouldn't have been a lot of fun. Hearing Luke scream was kind of satisfying, but I really _did_ want to see the insides of their heads.

Oh, bother. There was a Jedi coming at me, lightsaber swinging.

"Are you any better than Luke?" I asked curiously. I could easily beat Luke, but I didn't know about this new man.

"I have no idea. I've never seen him fight," the man answered, holding out his lightsaber to swing at me.

Suddenly the galaxy was whipped away. That was annoying. Now I wouldn't be able to drag Vader and Luke down and see what was inside their heads. I'd really wanted to know too. I stared at the swirling blackness with tiny streaks of colour and wondered what would happen next.

I really hoped I'd go back where Vader had taken me. I really _really _wanted to see them go splat. And maybe I could have some fun with the new Jedi while I was at it. I wondered how he would like flying and splashing in the lava.

Hmm… would things that landed in lava splash? Or was it too thick for that? I think I remember in Luke's memories hearing that there was a height after which everything went splat, even on water. No splash. Would that be lower than with water if they were headed for lava?

I began to wonder whether it would be more amusing to see them go splat or splash. I had to admit, I had yet to pull off anything as impressive as that explosion I had seen in Luke's memories. Maybe I should go back to them and see how he did that. I reached into the memories he left me with, but there was nothing there.

No explosion.

That was disappointing, I would've like to see it again. Last time I'd just skipped over it because I was trying to find something to torment Luke with. I searched around for a different memory, but I didn't find anything.

That was strange. How could I forget all of Luke's memories? But they were definitely gone, all I had left were my own. I guessed they were more fun, Luke was too nice to have done much interesting, but I kind of liked having things to mock him with.

Oh well. I could make my own interesting memories. And besides, I still had a huge list of pranks I'd pulled at the Alliance to mock him with.

It kind of scared me, though. Luke was really most of my life so far. It would be a good two decades more before I wouldn't be losing most of my life by losing his memories.

"Is he alive?" I heard someone say.

That was a strange question, of course I was alive!

I opened my eyes and blinked up at a stranger. She was an old lady, looking down at me dotingly.

"Poor dear, whatever happened to you?"

I reached up to slap her, but my arms weren't long enough. This wasn't right. Luke was small, but not _this_ small! And the hand I was holding up seemed awfully pudgy to be his…

"Where am I?" I asked the old lady.

She turned away from me, calling across the area, "I've found another one, dear!"

A younger lady came into view.

"Poor children. Nothing to be done but to take him to the orphanage. War is a terrible thing all right."

I sat up as soon as I felt strong enough. Everything was too high up, including the old lady, who had stood. I tried to stand up as well, wanting to gauge just how tall I was.

The lady looked down at me, "Poor sweetie. Looks like he was dressed in his daddy's clothes."

I looked down at myself. The clothes Vader had given me hung off my body, which was _considerably_ smaller than Luke's.

What had _happened_ to me? And where was I?

"Your siblings are over here, sweetie. Come along, will you?"

She led me to a small cluster of cots on a little ship. Each cot held a different badly wounded child. I hid a sneer. These kids weren't going to survive. I'd just kill them off when the old lady wasn't watching.

Soon enough, she turned her back and went to the cockpit, saying something about taking us all to the orphanage. I looked at the kids. I chose the oldest-looking one and seated myself next to her, making my eyes big and scared.

"What happened?"

She weakly tried to sit up, "The Imperials. They attacked our farm. They killed Mom and Dad and some of our siblings."

I blinked around. All these kids were theoretically my siblings?

"What's gonna happen to us now?"

"She's taking us to the orphanage, she says. But most of us came from the orphanage, and it might be kinder just to kill us."

"I can do that."

"Scott?" she asked. I used the Force to cut off her breathing, and she fell still. Then I moved around to the other children. None of them put up much of a fight, so it wasn't a lot of fun, but I knew I'd be in trouble if I didn't know everything they were talking about when I was apparently their brother. Better just to kill them.

Then I found a 'fresher and looked at myself in the mirror. I was a little boy, maybe six. I had dark eyes and hair, and I was quite tanned, even starting to get a few freckles. I stared. Well. This was wonderful. As if being trapped in the body of the galaxy's most irritating do-gooder hadn't been annoying enough, now I was barely more than a toddler!

I walked into the cockpit and asked when we would be there. At least I had that, I could always just pester people and they wouldn't get annoyed. I guess they wouldn't be expecting me to kill either.

The old lady answered me that we were nearly there and landed the ship. She took me down the back to where the children's bodies lay and looked around.

"Oh, dear. I'm so sorry, honey. You lost everyone you had."

That seemed like a good moment to make myself cry, so I did.

She eventually led me out of the ship and down to an old, dark building.

"This will be your new home, honey. I'm sure they'll take good care of you," she said. Then she busied herself with making arrangements for my care, and I slunk off to try to find something to destroy.


	2. Chapter 2

I very much liked the orphanage. They were like me. They just wanted to make more money, they didn't care what I did to the other kids.

I stalked towards the little boy. He'd been bugging me with his whining.

"Hi, there. You know, you make the most annoying little squeaks. You know what else squeaks? Mice. Mice squeak. I don't like mice. Do you know what people do to mice? They trap them. You know what? This is a bad metaphor. Rabbits squeak too. We trap them too, and do you know how we trap them? Snares. You wanna see how a snare works? 'Cause look at this, I have a great wire right here."

I pulled it out and showed it to him.

"Now, there are two ways we can do this. The first is that you just come here and let me kill you quickly, the second is that you try to run. Then I catch you and kill you slowly. You know they don't care if you scream. I like the second option. It's more fun."

The boy whimpered, and the sound came out as a squeak.

"See what I mean? That's the most annoying sound I've ever heard! Doesn't that annoy you?"

"No!" he squeaked, "No, that's just how I sound!"

"Ugh," I sighed, "You are just so annoying. Come here."

He ran. I grinned and ran after him. This was going to be great!

Unfortunately, he slipped into a crevice I couldn't get into. Damn him for being smaller than me!

I was still fighting to get to him with my wire when the door burst open. I was expecting it to be the owners of the orphanage, but it was law enforcement.

"What're you doing here?" I asked, annoyed.

"We're getting the boy out of here. He called us."

One of the men stepped forward, "We can't do anything about this place, but I'm going to adopt that one."

"Fine, just get him away from me," I said.

The man took the small boy and led him away.

"I should warn you! He squeaks!" I called after them, "You're gonna need a lot of oil to stop it! Maybe you could take some out of his hair!"

The boy reached up and touched his greasy hair. I grinned. The other law enforcement officials scowled at me, then one of them grabbed me. He dragged me down the stairs, presenting me to the headmistress.

"This one was trying to kill another child."

"I apologize," she said absently.

"I'll adopt this one," he said.

"That's nice. Fill in the forms."

He did, and left, dragging Squeaker with him.

I sneered after them. The headmistress turned to me, "Thank you. One more gone. Off to bed now."

I blinked at her. That wasn't very fair. I'd worked hard to kill him, and I hadn't even managed it. I'd expected some sympathy. Maybe a hug. Maybe a promise of some help next time. I'd had another kid, seven, who helped me with killing before. But he got really irritating. So I killed him too.

I walked off to my room and sat on my bed. I stared up at the sky. I was lonely. I hadn't thought this would happen. I'd always hated how Vader babied me and Luke. But now, I kind of wanted the attention. A hug would've been nice, and I missed their astonishment whenever I did things wrong.

Vader always seemed to expect me to be like Luke, just because I'd looked like him when I was created. He was always really startled when I did something Luke wouldn't have done, like killing someone who wasn't trying to kill me. I turned on my wrist screen. I wanted to see how Vader and Luke were doing.

They were acting abysmally cute. They'd found Luke's mom somewhere along the line. I hated that. I'd worked hard to tear them apart. And now Luke had actually been able to contact Leia and they were making up for what I'd done. I wanted to scream. Wasn't anything I'd worked for good for anything? As far as I could see, the only lasting effect I'd had was that Luke now kept the foot he'd burned on Mustafar bandaged.

It was nice to see him limping around like a lame animal, but there were much more impressive things I could've done. I'd slept in the same room as him! Why had I never woken myself up so that I could kill him in his sleep? Or at least done something to mess up his pretty face. That stupid foot of his would heal, no matter how much he exaggerated it.

I wished I had a way to communicate to them how many kids I'd killed since Vader had sent me away. I wanted to see the shock on their faces. I wished I still had Luke's memories so that I could mock him with those. But my new body didn't have memories. And anyway, I'd killed the only people I could've mocked with them.

I liked having a family, I realized. They were easier to hurt and manipulate. I wanted to go back to Vader. I wanted to hurt Luke a few more times. I wanted to kill Padmé. She was supposed to be dead anyway.

I put my chin on the windowsill, "Do you still remember me, Vader? Or have I drifted into oblivion? Luke? Do you remember me? Do you remember how I wanted to hurt and kill you? Vader, I know you had something weird going on. You cared for me. Why? And if I came back into your life now, what would you think? You were reluctant to kill me, but when I tried to kill Luke, that all went away, didn't it?"

I sighed. Loneliness was not something I'd wanted to gain. I would have liked to be able to continue to find joy in killing as I pleased, but without the shock and dismay, there was no fun to it.

"Maybe I should run away," I told the star I was pretending was Vader, "Maybe I should run away and find my way back to you to make sure you never forget me."


	3. Chapter 3

I slipped out the next day. I didn't want to stay in my little room in the orphanage anymore, and there were people all throughout the galaxy I could kill to amuse myself. Surely people out here would be more shocked and scared.

"The killing six-year-old," I whispered to myself, "I'm like something out of a horror movie. Awesome."

I ran through the night streets, wanting to get away from the lights. They hurt my eyes, and I wanted to see the stars so I could map out a route back to Vader.

"I'll be back with you soon!" I happily told the sky, imagining I could see Vader way up there.

I found myself a hanger full of ships and trotted up to one of the guards, "Hello," I said in my most innocent voice, "Can I borrow a thip?"

He shook his head kindly, "Are you lost, little man?"

"Nope, I know exthactly where I'm going."

"You should go home. Would you like a lift?"

"No," I said, smiling sweetly. Then I killed him and ran up onto a ship. Great, this planet wouldn't forget me. They probably considered the orphans as expendable, but he was working in a hanger with ships that could get me off planet, so he would probably be missed.

I ran through the controls really quickly before taking off. I was glad that I'd retained Luke's skill with flying. I seemed to still have several things I had gained from being formed as him. Such as my Force sensitivity. Much of an idiot as Luke could be, he did have some useful skills.

As I left the hanger, a call came to the cockpit, telling me to identify myself and return the ship to the hanger. I scowled at it and used the Force to crush it. I didn't want it distracting me. Stupid machine.

"Okay," I told the dashboard, "I have no idea where I am."

I pulled up a map on the navicomputer.

"All right," I told myself and the ship, "Off we go. I hope I know what I'm doing."

I pulled the ship around and aimed it at Coruscant, pulling up an article to read to check where Vader and Luke were. It seemed they were where I'd expected them to be, but I kept the article to read for more information.

I sent the ship into hyperspace and started reading.

"They took down the Emperor," I told no-one, with disappointment, "Darn. He sounded interesting. I would've liked to know him. He could probably have taught me some stuff about killing people. Oh, well. Maybe this is for the best. He sounds annoying too. Vader never liked him.

"Then again, _he_ liked Luke. And Luke was really annoying."

I frowned. I was talking to myself. That was no good. I shouldn't talk to myself.

"It's because I'm still lonely, isn't it?"

Of course, no one answered.

I checked the navicomputer. It said that I had a few hours 'til I was supposed to fall back to real space.

"I guess I should sleep a bit more, huh?" I asked thin air, "I didn't sleep very well last night. It's this stupid loneliness."

I left the cockpit and found a bed to sleep in. I crawled under the covers and curled up, but I still felt wrong.

"I want Vader," I said, "I miss him. I miss Luke too."

The darkness around me didn't answer.

Usually, I like darkness. It's nice. It doesn't hurt my eyes. But as I lay in bed, blinking around, the darkness seemed to begin closing in. I felt like there was something out there in the dark.

"Go away," I whispered. When the thing seemed to come closer I shivered and tried to speak more loudly, "Go away. GO AWAY!"

I started to cry. I was all alone. No one cared how many people I killed and hurt. No one would care if I died. As far as the closest thing I had to a family knew, I was already dead.

"They wouldn't care if I died now," I told the darkness, "They wouldn't even know. And it doesn't scare them when I kill people. And if I kill Padmé like I want to," I sniffled, "Then they'd want me dead. What's the point of hurting people when no one would hurt if I died?"

I tried to bury my face in my pillow, wrapping my arms around myself, "I want Vader. I'm scared."

The darkness seemed to laugh at me. It said that I wasn't much good at being a creature of the darkness if I wanted some weakling of the light. And if I wanted to be a weakling of the light, I wasn't much good at that either.

"I'm just not good for anything," I told the darkness, "You haven't told me anything I don't already know.

The darkness didn't answer except to snicker more loudly.

I covered my head with my pillow, wanting to hide from the sound. But the darkness was under the pillow too, still laughing at me.

It told me that I should smother myself with the pillow.

"But if I do that," I wailed, "I'll probably just go to another dead body!"

The darkness said it was worth a try.

I pulled my head out from under the pillow, afraid the darkness would take matters into its own hands and kill me. I sat on the bed, rocking slowly.

"I want Vader."

The darkness laughed at me, and said I wanted my daddy.

I used the Force to turn on the light and sat in the blinding brightness.

"Yeah. I want my daddy. What's it to you?"

The darkness laughed out of the shadows.

"I'm physically only six," I told it, "And I've only really existed a few months. He's the only one who's loved me in spite of everything. Even Luke would probably have killed me. He feared me, like Vader never did. Do you think he understands how I feel?"

The darkness just kept laughing.


	4. Chapter 4

When I finally landed, I was exhausted and terrified. The darkness lurked in every corner and it frightened me, saying I should die.

"I'm only a child," I told the darkness as I left the ship.

The darkness followed me, staying in the shadows, laughing.

I covered my ears, not wanting to hear it. I wanted to kill the darkness. I wanted it to go away and leave me alone. Part of me wanted to run around for a bit, killing people and hoping the darkness would get the message and leave me alone. But it was far overpowered by a need to get back to Vader. He would help me with the darkness. He would make it go away.

So I ran. I ran towards Vader. With each step, I hoped I was getting further away from the darkness. I hoped it knew where I was going, and that it couldn't survive there. Vader and Luke would chase it away.

Luke, I remembered from his memories, would protect a child with his life.

"Maybe I shouldn't tell them who I am," I muttered to myself, "Maybe then they'd be more willing to protect me."

I started to cry. The darkness was still following me, racing through the shadows beside me, no matter how fast I ran.

The darkness told me that Vader had tried to wish me away, the same way he had wished for me, but that he had been unable to because I'd gained consciousness. It said that was why I was a six-year-old now. He could wish away my body, because that hadn't changed much since I'd been created, but my spirit had gone to that other body.

I yelled at the darkness to go away and leave me alone, but it didn't.

I could see Vader's castle in the distance. I needed to get there. I needed him. I started to run up the stairs, but someone tried to stop me at the top. I reached out in the Force to kill him, but I found that the darkness had crept into my heart as well. I dropped his body, which was still breathing shallowly, and pushed past, running as fast as I could, needing Vader.

Suddenly, Vader was just ahead of me. I called out to him and ran forwards, throwing myself around him. He would protect me from the darkness, I told myself. He would make it go away. He'd make it go away and keep me safe from it forever.

Vader picked me up, looking at me with confusion. The familiar want to kill came to me, but the darkness in my heart arose with it too and scared me.

"Who are you?" Vader asked, "And what are you doing here?"

The tears kept pouring down. The darkness taunted that I wanted my daddy, that I was no good at being a creature of the dark. It didn't mention being a creature of the light.

"I'm Zil," I told him through my tears, "I'm scared."

He stared at me with horror, and I was terribly afraid that he would throw me away then. I'd tried to hurt his son, and him. Of course he wouldn't want me. Of course he wouldn't protect me from the dark. What reason had I ever given him to care for me?

I put my head in my hands and shook it slowly, "Never mind," I sniffed, "I'll go."

"Zil," Vader said slowly. I turned to look into his wonderfully familiar mask, "Why did you come back?"

"I'm scared," I repeated.

"What are you scared of?" he asked.

"The darkness."

"You're afraid of the dark?"

"No, the darkness!"

"What darkness?"

"The darkness in the shadows," I explained, "The darkness in here," I put my hand over my heart.

He stared at me a moment, "Does it speak to you?" he asked finally.

I nodded, afraid that the shadows would see.

"The dark side," he said.

I shrugged, "I don't know. It frightens me. Make it go away."

"I can't do that."

I burst into tears again, "Why not? Why can't you? Why won't you help me?"

"I can't, Zil, because you invited the dark in."

"No, I didn't!" I wailed, "I hate it! I want it gone!"

"By hating it, you let it further in. You need to accept the darkness. As long as you accept it, it can't hurt you."

"How am I supposed to do that?"

"Just as Luke and I have. We accept that the darkness exists, and we can't eliminate it, we try to teach people how not to be scared by the darkness."

"I don't want to accept the darkness. I want it gone," I told him.

"I know you do, but we can't do that. We have to accept that it's here, that it's always been here, that it's never going to go away completely. Then it'll leave us alone a little bit."

"Do you promise?" I begged.

"I promise. How long have you been crying?" he asked.

I wiped at my tears, "A few hours."

"When did you last sleep?"

"A couple of days ago."

"I'll take you back to bed, all right? You should sleep. I'll explain what's happened to the others."

"But—," I stammered, "But I need you to protect me from the darkness!"

"I don't need to be right beside you to do that."

"I'd feel safer," I mumbled as he carried me into the room Luke and I had shared. Luke was sitting at the desk, working at something and he looked up as we entered.

He watched as Vader put me on the top bunk and carefully tucked me in.

"Sleep well," Vader told me, "I'll sit with you until you fall asleep."

I nodded thankfully, glad that he would keep the darkness away. I closed my eyes so as to be able to fall asleep faster. Then I slowed my breathing. Vader sat over me a while longer. Then I heard his boots on the ladder and Luke's voice.

"Father, is that Zil?"

"Yes."

"Are you crazy? He tried to kill us!"

"He's only a child now."

"I'll bet my other hand he's the most evil child in the universe."

"He came to me crying because he was afraid of the dark."

"And it didn't occur to you that it might be an act?"

"It did. But his fear is very real."

"Don't tell me you're feeling parental protectiveness for him."

"I am. He is my son, after all."

"Father—," Luke faltered, "Are you quite certain he's even comparable to human?"

"Not before. But now I think he is."

"What exactly changed?"

"Before, he was just evil in a copy of your body. But I feel as though his being given new life in this body is a sign from the Force that he was meant to live."

Luke was silent. Then, "You don't think he'll try to kill us again, will he?"

"I don't know."

"You don't know?"

"I don't. Luke, take your mother and your sister. You need to stay away for a while. You'll be safer back with the Alliance. I'll get in touch when I know more about how he's doing."

"No, I'm staying with you. I'll tell Leia and Mom to go, if you like."

"Yes, please."

"Okay, I'll be right back."

"I'll wait here. I'd like to keep a close eye on him for a while."

I lay very still as I listened. I didn't like hearing them talk about me like I was some volatile thing. I was volatile, I guess. Part of me still wanted to kill them every time I saw them, but the darkness in my heart roared up with it each time. I started to cry again.

Vader climbed the ladder once more, sitting beside me and rubbing my back gently.

"You were listening, weren't you?"

I nodded tremulously.

"I thought you were. Don't be hurt, please. They're my family and I have to be careful with them. I love them as I love you."

I sniffled and nodded, "I won't hurt you, I promise. It makes the darkness come up in my heart."

Vader patted my shoulder, "That's right. We'll take care of you. You know that."

I smiled, "Yeah."

He ran a hand through my hair and gently pushed me back into the blankets, "I mean it, though. It's time for you to sleep now."

I nodded obediently. He sat beside me once again for as long as I was aware.


End file.
